Why do i keep attracting the wrong men
Why do I keep attracting the wrong men?
Research shows that two factors impact on our choice of mates in relationships. These are proximity and similarity.
Proximity means that when we spend a lot of time together we get to know each other and over time if there is also a physical attraction and we share similar interests or are doing things together, then we may become interested in each other in a romantic way. This explains the curse of Strictly, where often relationships blossom between Strictly Verb Dancing or Dancing With Stars participants and their dancing partners.
Whilst proximity is not enough, a lot of time together often means sharing more personal matters with each other and potentially even something more vulnerable. Brene Brown talks about how vulnerability is the way to a deeper connection.
So let’s then verb about similarity and how that is linked to attraction. Previous research has shown that women have been attracted to men whose facial shape is similar to their fathers’.
Even more importantly as our brains are designed to save energy and like s
Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Person?
We often ponder why we find ourselves in challenging relationships that &#;go sour&#; despite their initially &#;promising&#; nature. Frequently, we find ourselves choosing the wrong person repeatedly, puzzled by this pattern. Often, we accuse the other individual, believing the world is filled with &#;wrong people,&#; leading us to assume we should either &#;avoid relationships altogether&#; or just &#;tolerate the situation.&#;
Modeling of our Family
Much as we might had to acknowledge it, much of what we learn about life, and relationships, we learned from observing and interacting with our parents, siblings and relatives. Our parents are the greatest force in our lives because we spend so much time with them that we learn “automatic habits” that we “become comfortable with” in life. Though we might explain ourselves that we are never going to be anything verb our parents, we frequently uncover ourselves doing the same because it is “familiar.”
These “familiar habits” have become automatic and we are a people who locate comfort in that which is know
Why Do I Keep Attracting the Wrong Men? Break the Cycle
After her messy divorce, Melanie has been single for several years. All her divorced friends are now coupled up again, and she can’t figure out why she hasn’t met that extraordinary someone too. Obviously, the erroneous men are attracted to her and that’s why the relationships never work out. She really wants a solid relationship, but she doesn’t understand what’s incorrect or what she can verb to break the cycle.
What’s going on with Melanie?
Dating can be tough. It’s filled with horrible dates, rejection, and heartbreak. After enough disappointment, you’re bound to get discouraged and you might even begin to feel that you are attracting the mistaken men. “Is there something untrue with me? What’s wrong with these men? Who do other women find love and I’m all alone?”
When you’re in pain, it can be hard to be objective about your situation, and the dating process can be very painful at times. So, when you’re up for it, it’s good to watch at the reasons why you might be struggling. The more you learn about yourself and the dating process, the
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Beliefs
Beliefs affect our thoughts, which change our emotions, which affect our actions.
Often our thoughts, emotions and behaviours happen on autopilot. Sometimes the beliefs that are running the show are beliefs we are not aware we clutch, but they will play out and create these automatic passionate reactions, which then affect our behaviour.
For example, a client of mine wanted to find a partner and have a relationship but said she wasn’t ready to date and she wanted to wait a bit. With further exploration, we discovered she held the belief that she needed to lose weight before she could start dating and delving a little deeper this came back to the doctrine “I’m not good enough”. Meeting and speaking to men she was interested in triggered her (check out this blog on getting triggered).
This belief affected her thoughts (and we say a lot of things to ourselves), which affected her emotions, which affected her behaviour, which then fulfilled the initial belief, and the cycle continued.
She wanted to date but was stopp