Gay tops and bottoms
Troye Sivan said he's a 'verse' during sex, not a 'top' or 'bottom.' Here's what the terms mean.
Troye Sivan, a singer known for his track "Bloom," recently set straight rumors that he only enjoys receiving penetration during sex.
"I think in the sort of consciousness of gay people I'm some crazy might bottom or something, which is just not the case, and I just wanted to place that out there," Sivan, a gay man, said on Emily Ratajkowski's podcast "High Low."
Sivan said that he's a "verse," meaning he enjoys both penetrating a partner and being penetrated during sex.
"Verse," as well as the terms "top" and "bottom" are popular ways to describe sexual preferences in the queer community.
While the terms were originally used to describe the sexual preferences of queer men in the s, more LGBTQ+ people hold adopted the terms to speak about what they like in sex.
Lately, top/bottom/verse discourse has grown more visible on TikTok, where queer people have been making videos describing the unique struggles of each preference.
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At dinner recently, a female friend mentioned how shocked she was to discover that our mutual gay acquaintance was a top. After all, this guy is quite effeminate—he works in fashion and is so light in his loafers that hes practically hovering above them. And yes, not only does he prefer the insertive finish of anal intercourse, hes what we in the industry notify a total top, meaning that his butthole, in the rough parlance of homophobes everywhere, is a one-way street.
But why was she so shocked, exactly? Why is it that we usually imagine the swishier men among us as bottoms and reserve our conception of tops for guys who look fancy G.I. Joe? Its all about stereotypes, said Dr. Andrew Reilly, a psychologist who has written several studies on tops, bottoms, and what our perception of them does to individual psychology. And people think that if youre a stereotype in one area, then youre a stereotype in another.
In other words, we still havent evolved enough in to separate sexual preferences from looks and
Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms
Every month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world go on the Grindr app to watch for sex with other men. Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex – a crucial criterion for most gay men – the possibilities have extended been simply top and bottom. The only other choice accessible toggles between those roles: verse (for versatile).
“Not fitting those roles has made it really tough to find someone,” said Jeremiah Hein, 38, of Long Beach, California. “There’s no category to choose from.”
“Whenever I’d look at those choices I’d think, ‘I’m none of those things,’” said Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel. “I felt there must be something wrong with me.”
Last month, however, that finally changed. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. Sides are men who find fulfillment in every kind of sexual act ex
What Does “Top” Mean?
In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to describe a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is important to knowing these terms not only for members of the LGBTQ+ community, but also for increasing adj and acceptance of queer relationships in society.
What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Being a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Protection During Gay Sex
As a dictate, in gay sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the concept of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes feeling roles.
Physical Aspects
In physical terms, the t